Sports World Review

A Scene in the Lions Locker Room

(Saturday Night, post practice team meeting. Ford Field locker rooms)

Coach Marinelli to his players: Ok boys. Great practice today. I saw a lot of good things. Some great dropped passes, poor coverage, Daunte: nice overthrown pass to Kevin Smith.

Dante: For you coach. All for you! (high fives from teammates)

Marinelli: Ok Ok, let’s get serious for a second. (A deafening silence ensues, and the camera view pans around to different players as coach speaks) It’s one thing to do this in practice, it’s another to do it in the game. I know I shouldn’t put any extra pressure on you but we have a chance to do something great here…to make history. And I don’t want to mess it up because of some dumb mistake. Keep yourselves focused. Running backs: run into the back of your blockers or go out of bounds before the first down. Receivers: remember what I told you…

Receivers (all together): Alligator hands!

Marinelli: Good, good. If we’re going to do this, we need a complete team effort. No more than 4 first downs, no less than 5 sacks. Get injured for chrissake!…Look, I don’t want to get emotional or angry with you guys. I just know what you’re capable of. You guys are terrible. Last year we lost focus in the early going and won six games…SIX! We PLAY as a team and we LOSE as a team. But if you’re not gonna do it for the Rodster here…there’s someone I want you to hear from (pulls out letter). His name is Benjamin. He’s been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and his lifelong dream is to see you guys go out there, give it 5%, and lose by at least 50…(tears well in his eyes) Now, if this sorta thing don’t get you guys motivated to fumble at least 4 times…then, maybe I’m in the wrong business. (wipes tears)

You guys…I love all of you guys. Circle around, circle around guys. You are the most pathetic team in history. Now let’s let the record show that. Hands in…0-16 on three. 1…2…3

All: 0-16!

Marinelli: Aright boys. Go home and get 3 hours of sleep.

(Scene fade black)